19
Nov
09

Waikiki via Japan pt.3

The thing is, since I’ve moved to Japan, in my heart and mind, America has become this oasis of tolerance in a desert of bias, a harbor of  humanity in a stormy sea of chauvinism and xenophobia, and, at the risk of sounding President Bush-whacked, a beacon of freedom and diversity in a dark, putrid, pit of prejudice and ignorance.

I know, I know, I know…

But, for me, this is one of the side effects of life among the xenophobic.  The downside of life in Japan can make even the downside of living in America pale in comparison.

So, when I come HOME and I see that my Japanese GUESTS have not only brought their swimwear, cameras and credit cards to my country but have decided to show their asses and smuggled in what amounts to contraband: namely their predisposition to unabashedly project and display fear and/or terror in the face of people who look different from themselves, and particularly people who look like me, well, unlike the anger I felt back in their country, which can be and has been, at times, dismissed with the words  “you can always go home if you don’t like the way we treat you” I felt a righteous anger. You can do whatever you want back it Yokohama, that’s yo’ shit! But here? In my neck of the woods (so to speak)!? Like my Moms used to say when I was a kid and I’d act up in public:

You must be out of your natural mind!

I’ve never felt such a posessiveness about America before…at least not while I was living in America. I mean, most of my life I spent feeling that my country, along with most of Western Europe, were the greatest evildoers in the universe. But, the Japanese have provoked something dark out of me. And though I feel compelled to keep it at bay in their country, man oh man, you better believe I don’t feel that way in my own. It’s like when guests come to your house. They should know not to do certain things without invitation. They should know to keep their feet off of my coffee table, keep their eyes and hands out of my medicine cabinet, keep their faces out of my refrigerator, keep their asses off of my bed, etc… That is, if they have manners or intend to ever be invited over again. I think it should go without saying that if you come to my country you have no right to treat me or anybody else like an object of fear.

And that’s where the provocation comes in. It’s not like I came to Japan and disrespected the shop they got set up over here. Hell no. I’ve tried to make their lives as easygoing as possible considering they find me terrifying for some reason. I’ve tried to live within the guidelines they’ve laid down. I’ve been a model foreign citizen (well almost anyway) since I’ve been living in Japan…tolerant, for the most part, of the virtually intolerable, patient when my patience is tried daily. I even refrain from abusing their generosity and ignorance…most often. (-;

So, when I went to breakfast in my hotel’s cafe the second day to indulge myself in the breakfast buffet, I expected my country’s guest to behave like they got a little sense in their heads. When I had a seat by the bay windows near the Japanese couple with their two young kids, then went to fill up my tray with waffles and bacon and all kinds of fruits and breads and returned to my seat, I rightfully expected the family to be sitting where I’d left them. Not to have moved to another area of the cafe…suddenly. Yes, circumstantial evidence, but I’ve seen so much daily circumstantial evidence in Japan that I don’t think it’s circumstantial evidence  anymore. It’s a fact, now.

So I, just as suddenly, decide the morning Hawaiian sun is too bright for the hangover I’m nursing and move to another table myself, a table that just happened to be next to theirs. This done without even acknowledging their existence.

Now what! I said in my head and spread some jam on my croissants. I could hear mother hiss, the father suck his teeth. The son kept looking at me the same friendly way most kids do in Japan. I smiled and played eye games with him. His mother noticed and put that shit to a halt. She hissed something I couldn’t mae out, I think “Abunai” (dangerous) at her son and he looked so frightened suddenly, not of Mom but of me, that my stomach churned.

Fuck this!

“Good morning!” I snapped at them.

The mother looked shocked like I’d picked up a knife and aimed to throw it at her. The father turned and gave me a plastic face of amusement.

“Good morning? Hi…hello…aloha…can you speak?”

“Sorry…good morning…eeeeto….hi.”

The kids responded to my smile with nervous smiles of their own. The parents sweat.

” Welcome to America! Sweet land of liberty!” I felt like Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island.

“Thank you,” the father said. “We are Japanese.”

“That’s no problem…this ain’t China…and this ain’t Japan.  This is a free country. MY country, and we take all kinds here. Even Japanese. So, enjoy your stay…ki wo tsukete ne!” (be careful) I smiled and winked.

And, with that, I returned to my breakfast and ate heartily grinning ear to ear.

But, unfortunately, my country’s Japanese guests were just getting started…

…and so was I.

Loco

to be continued…

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6 Responses to “Waikiki via Japan pt.3”


  1. November 19, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    My original blog was titled Japan via Waikiki so I’m drawn in by the similarities 🙂

    I’m a simple minded fucker 🙂 When they put stuff next to registers to get last second “impulse purchases” their targeting my A.D.H.D ridden ass!!

    Remember CHEERS?

    “I wanna go where people can see
    our troubles are all the same
    I wanna go where every cop knows my name ;)”

    Waikiki baby!!! Woooooo Hooooooo!!!!! My condo is near the Hilton Hawaiian Village and me cant wait to go back home. I like Japan…sometimes…but there’s no place like Waikiki 4 me.

    Malama pono loco!!!

    • November 19, 2009 at 4:08 pm

      Right back atcha Chris…
      Yeah, JPs got Waikiki on lock down, son. You might be going back to Okinawa, fuck around. They just about vexed a mofo outta his wits wit dey bullshit while I was up in that piece…I couldn’t believe dey was showin’ dey ass up in MY piece! That shit may slide over here but I wasn’t feeling dem at all in Waikiki. Shit was so off the hook I had to go to a gun range just to release, yo. LOL

  2. November 20, 2009 at 11:38 am

    LMAO, go hard or go home. Sometimes you just gotta call people out on there bull shit!

  3. November 20, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    Free country? HA!

  4. November 24, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    It felt odd coming from waikiki where the Japanese were like ducks with bulls eye targets on their ass for all the shops trying to dip into their man purses.

    I stopped my car to a halt in the middle of the Ala wai a few times when they would pull that “drive on someones ass” tailgate shit that i didn’t know was a common driving tactic till i came to japan. I saw a family of Samoans once do the same and start slapping a buncha Japanese men and girls in a drop top mustang. grandma and auntie Samoan were givin bitches some stitches. It was a nice watch.

    Waikiki is surrendered territory and it is protected and made comfortable for our friends from the east so they ( The State politicos) can keep gettin that golden egg from the goose. If you head just outside that tourist trap though you’ll find the real honey the nectar from the Hawaiian flower. Locals that would give you the shirt off their back and treat you like family until you gave em’ a reason to do otherwise.

    They see the rape of Waikiki as a personal attack on the “aina’ of the land. That shit that stinks don’t fly with them outta the bounds of the shopping centers and outlet malls. The Hawaiians had they Queen locked up and their lands locked down. They fly American flags upside down to show their distress and they burn blunts and go on hunts to try and catch a tourist “outta pocket” and if a Japanese finds themselves in Waimanalo’s Kahuku. Waianae or Nanakuli after dark it can be really bad for them.

    It may look like there’s no “checks” for the “balances’ but trust me when I tell you…it’s there.


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