…And, oh yeah, one other reason I just LOVE Japan: The Girls!

Whenever I meet a new Japanese girl sooner or later they get around to asking me The Question: What are the differences between Japanese girls and American girls?

It’s a loaded question to be sure.

Back in 2003 when asked The Question, I’d look right into the doe-like eyes of my Josei (girl) du jour and say with a straight face, “Japanese women are sweeter,”  just to keep my answer simple and cajoling. A more thorough and frank answer would have been, ‘I think Japanese girls are the fucking bomb! In general, they’re prettier (in a prepubescent kind of way), sexier (in a dumb blond kind of way) and are just fiendin’ to be feminine, like overdeveloped (so to speak) pre-teens dressing up in Mama’s clothes. They’re passive and pliable and just dying to be led around and told what to do…which taps into some deep psycho-sexual sadistic thing dwelling in my psyche, I suspect. They taste great, they’re less filling, they smell better and are lower maintenance than their American counterparts. They require little to no game (effort) whatsoever…like Top Shelf call girls (even dressing the part) only relatively free of charge. They are awkward, giggling, confidence-free, drama-free aphrodisiacs incarnate…


Yes, I was in Nirvana, quite removed from reality. And this high lasted for years.

I remember this Twilight Zone episode where a bibliophile who was taunted and harassed for his passion by his wife and others was alone in a bank vault when a sudden nuclear war occurred. He survived to find he was the last man on earth…he was about to kill himself when he found that  the library had also survived the atomic bombing (somehow). He was happy as a pig in shit until, in a particularly cruel Rod Serling twist, he breaks his glasses. That’s fucked up, right?

Well, my glasses broke, too. The rose-tinted lenses through which I adored Japanese women, that is. (I’m actually managing to retain 20/20 vision against incredible odds.) Yes, now I can see the truth behind the curtain of stereotypes about them. At least, I think I can (-:

The truth: They’re just women. And women are women.

So, you heard Japanese girls are easy? You want to know if it’s true? The answers is an equivocal YES, they are! However, I submit, they are no easier than American girls under the same conditions.

Case and point: When I was a teenager growing up in Brooklyn I was a very sentimental lad, and had very romantic notions about the opposite sex. Love songs made my heart pound. Rejection brought me to tears. I wrote tear-stained  pages of poetry and short stories about love and loss. I had a stack of  notebooks filled with this stuff, not unlike the guy who had previously owned the house that Brad Pitt and Edward Norton were squatting in in ‘Fight Club” (“I am Jack’s medulla Oblongata” “I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise”) Mine was more like, “my heart is a red tear in the duct of a dead man.” That’s the kind of stuff I wrote after Kim tore me a new asshole.

Kim was my high school sweetheart, so to speak. She was this lightーskinned  cutie from Bed-Stuy who inexplicably managed to emerge from a Bed-Stuy housing project exuding a purity and sweetness so uncorrupted you’d think she was raised in, well, in Japan, or a Nunnery. Only problem was Kim’s high school sweetheart was not me, but this cat named Richard.  She just pal’d around with me. I was like her Forrest Gump. “Run, Loco, run.” Richard was a lying asshole, but we all were so that didn’t make him special. What did make him special was his heritage: he was half-Asian. Half Jamaican, half Chinese, and had those half slanted eyes and that half-straight hair, and was half as dark as me…and half the girls in the school went half-bananas for half a chance to run their fingers through it. He was my boy, until Kim went entirely  bananas over him. Then, naturally, I hated him.

So what he was exotic! Well, half-exotic, anyway. Who was the one writing poetry for Kim? I was. Did I give her my undivided attention? Well, when I wasn’t smoking blunts and drinking 40’s, you bet your ass I did. Did I make it clear that if this world were mine (yes, Luther inspired me) I’d place at her feet all that I own? Yes, indeed I did. But, did she give a damn after she met Richard? No. Did Richard give a shit about her? No. Did Richard talk to her on the phone every night and listen to her drone on and on about  totally mundane shit? No. Did Richard drag his ass to her church on Sundays (despite my abhorrence of all things religious)? Hell no. Did he hold her sheepskin coat when it was clearly too hot to be wearing one but they were fashionable so she wore it any fucking way? No.

Fucking Richard, lucky bastard…What the hell was my point? Oh, right! Sorry.

2628886Was Kim an easy mark for Richard? Yep! Goddamn pushover. Why? The same reason Japanese girls are easy. Here in Japan, I am, and virtually every foreign guy on this island is, Richard. We are all Richard. We are all lucky bastards. We are all exceptions and thus exceptional. We are a chance to feel different, to do things a little differently, to be a little different. We’re a ride on the wild side. A chance to learn about something aside from that which you know all too well. A chance for notoriety, if you desire it, or to say “fuck you” to a society you disdain. A chance to have a baby that looks like Richard.

Never underestimate the eroticism of exoticism.

And, on top of that, somebody’s been spreading rumors. A LOT of rumors. Somebody pumped Japanese girls heads so full of “information” about “me” that my actual input is redundant at best and counter productive at worst. They know all they believe they need to know about “me” to make an informed decision and, in a satisfactory number of cases, have somehow concluded “I” am indeed desirable.  I’ve spent a lot of energy and ink (so to speak) on the downside of being stereotyped, but relatively little on the upside. Not having to actually work for relatively quality girls (the stereotypes and rumors do all the work for me) is, for all intents and purposes, an upside (-;

Never underestimate human susceptibility to stereotype.

And, Kim, you heart breaker you…I hated you for a long time. But, now, I ain’t got nothing but love for you. I realize that anyone can be vulnerable to the exotic factor. Now that I live in a nation where a good number of the women are afflicted as you were, I am Loco’s complete lack of surprise that you let Richard run up in that when I offered you my eternal love. (-:

I sympathize and I forgive you


Loco (-;


20 Responses to “…And, oh yeah, one other reason I just LOVE Japan: The Girls!”

  1. 1 ItAintEazy
    February 25, 2009 at 11:24 am

    I dunno, I heard some horror stories of Japanese girls breaking a lot of dudes’ hearts (I think you had a story about that too), but as you say, Japanese women are women too.

  2. 3 Bored in Kanagawa
    February 25, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    Dude, keep up the great stories! This website gets me through the day.

  3. 5 Theodoric of York
    February 25, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    You nailed this right on my friend. But let’s face it: despite the fact that you no longer have rose tinted glasses for Japanese chicks they still are the most delightful creatures on the planet. They look great young and – pound-for-pound – age incredibly well. That said, when it does come time for settling down and raising a brood, there is something just a tad off-kilter. So, from my perspective at least (40+ male with half a lifetime of experience in this area), they’re absolutely fantastic specimens of the gentler gender right up until you say “I Do”.

  4. 7 TLR
    February 25, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    I concur with pretty much everything you said! I married J-Girl 16 years my junior and I am loving every minute of it!



  5. 9 nico poon
    February 26, 2009 at 2:14 am

    I stumbled upon your blog and you’ve written some good pieces of work. When reading this post I thought “yeah! I’ve seen/felt this too!”. Japanese girls are definitely more tender than most women at first, but from personal and friends’ experience once in a longer term deal it pretty much blends between cultures.

  6. 11 MO.nl
    February 26, 2009 at 4:02 am

    Yo Loco,

    You did a fine Job ones again………… please give us the inside story about Nanpaa !!!!!!!! You got all the ins and outs about these girls……. 😉



  7. February 27, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    taste great, less filling. Very true most of the time.

  8. 14 shichi
    March 1, 2009 at 11:51 am

    I find I can’t date Japanese girls very easily. My Japanese isn’t strong, their English usually isn’t strong. It’s hard to get past the face value of things when you are stuck in that situation =(

    And Loco, I’m definitely feeling you on the Kim situation. Reminded me of this: http://xkcd.com/513/

    In fact my Kim was actually named Kim too! Although I’ve gotten to know her guy a bit and he’s not actually too bad of a guy, but it stings after you’ve poured out so much support and affection doesn’t it. =(

    • March 1, 2009 at 12:08 pm

      Hey Shichi, thanks for the link (-;
      and hang in there…and I don’t know if getting past face value is a worthwhile goal. Unless you become friends first. Like that guy on XKCD. The same thing will probably happen here too.


  9. 16 shichi
    March 1, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    I just find its hard to continue to have interesting and deep conversations when there is a language barrier, even a slight one. I’ll tell you what though, talking to Japanese people in english has really improved my english. I never used to speak properly, but had to start so they could understand me.

  10. 17 Laura
    March 4, 2009 at 9:04 am

    Hey Loco,
    I’ve been reading your blog for a while, and I thought this post was hilarious — so i sent it to my friends. Turns out they’re all up in arms with feminist rage. You know, I kinda see where they’re coming from, but I say to them that the fault isn’t yours, it’s the girls’. They let themselves be controlled (“led around”) and treated a little like children. Oh well, if it’s there, might as well take advantage of it right? I don’t know, tell me if you think this article shows a tad too much machismo from your part ~


    • March 4, 2009 at 9:25 am

      Hi Laura! Thanks for the shout and for spreading the word(-:

      Which Article are you talking about? my article? Machismo? Maybe a little but after spilling my guts about Kim wouldn’t you say there’s balance as well? no? 8-:
      Feminist rage, eh? Well tell them I’m sure the guys are lined up around the corner just dying to meet and marry girls who refused to be led around and treated like children and what not. They just ain’t in Japan.
      Most of my friends are women…and not the one will ever admit to wanting to be led around, but sometimes i wonder… is it a front or not? I mean, if the right guy came along with the right look and the right portfolio and the right kind of charm…I don’t know. They might go all japaneasy for him…lol

      btw, that was my previous impression of Japanese girls…currently I see them like I see most of the other women I’ve come across in my life. Similar objectives with only slightly different methods.


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